The Other Shoes

I have always heard that you never really know someone until you have walked a hundred miles in their shoes.

 

I don't know if that is true or not, but I do know that empathy can take kindness to the next level. We all can sympathize, but can you empathize?  Can you put yourself in someone else's shoes or situation mentally and feel what they feel?  You can feel empathy for someone you know, or a stranger, or even a character in a book!

Here are some helpful tips to perform kindness in the wake of empathizing.

 

1.  Be respectful. 
Showing a little respect can go a long way.  Others appreciate when you respect their space, their situation and their thoughts. And remember respect can go both ways. 

 

2.  Just listen.
No matter how much you want to interupt someone while they are talking - when they are pouring their heart and soul out to you, try not to interupt them.  Don't talk, just listen.  It's easy to hear the words being spoken, but try to listen and understand the meaning being conveyed.  Maybe nod your head a few times and show some interest.

 

3.  Ask questions.
If you don't understand, ask questions.  If you need better understanding in order to listen better, it is ok to ask questions.  This will help you respond appropriately.

4.  Pause.  
Before you give feedback, positive or negative, take about 5 seconds to pause before you respond.  Gather your thoughts.  This will help you participate in the dialog successfully.

 

5.  Common ground.
During the coverstation, take some time to respond while trying to find understanding and common ground.  This can help facilitate listening on both sides.

 

6.  Take time.
Take some time to be there.  What a beautiful display of kindness to someone else by spending time with them and listening to what they say. It's ok to talk about the things they want to talk about.  Maybe next time you meet, it will be your turn.

 

7.  Follow-up.
Don't just do it once.  Try again and again. You will find how easy this can be once you start.  And just maybe, someone will follow-up with you too.

 

Trying to put yourself in someone else's shoes, or practicing empathy for someone or something can be a very rewarding experience.

 

Take time to be kind.